Everyday Eleanor: Ross Everett

Ross, eating a fish in Istanbul. 

You might know him as the YouTube dude, but I know Ross Everett as the nicest person I met in all of 2014. He was also the host of the New Show on Discovery Digital, until it got cancelled. Instead of cryin' about it (PS Ross, it's totally cool if you did cry about it), he leapt at an opportunity to travel Europe-- which he had yet to embark on prior to this interview. I talked to him about being Internet famous, what freaks him out about traveling alone and who killed Hae Min Lee (you did listen to Serial, right?). 

* * *

How did you get into film (do you call it film? Moviemaking? Videoing? I have no idea.) in the first place? 

Film is a very prestigious way to refer to YouTube videos, but seeing as how you don’t get into the field without a healthy dose of narcissism, I’ll allow it.  

I kind of tripped and fell into it. During an internship in college I met my friend Brett who was very involved in YouTube- sorry, “film”- and he brought me into it. I was already very interested in making my own videos but hadn’t really explored the online platform until we met. After that it was a combination of being in the right place at the right time with the right material. Brett and I started a web series together called “Shitty Roommate” and eventually making YouTube videos became a full time gig. 

I hear you’re a pretty big deal on YouTube. How’d that happen? 

My favorite type of rumor. I’ll let it perpetuate. I wrote and produced for a lot of popular YouTubers before I was even in front of the camera myself. It wasn’t until I joined SourceFed (a popular YouTube news channel) that I gained any sort of public persona. I was there for about a year as part of the ensemble and then left to pursue my own show. Which I see you’re about to ask about in the next question. 

Ross & those houses from that show with Bob Saget that wasn't America's Funniest Home Videos.

Recently, the Discovery Digital Network picked up your talk show, The New Show. Even more recently, they cancelled it. What was your biggest takeaway from the experience?

I like working with people. I realized how important to me it is to be in a creative space surrounded by likeminded individuals. I’m glad I took the opportunity because I think we made some amazing content on The New Show and that exists online forever now. It’s the kind of thing you want to exist online forever, no offense to those that hate that idea like Anthony Weiner or Paula Deen.

Instead of wallowing in the cancellation sorrow, you decided to take a big-ass adventure. Why?

I made the mistake of not traveling before. I had this break between SourceFed and The New Show that I spent worrying about my next gig instead of taking the down time and doing something amazing. I promised myself that if I got that opportunity again I would take advantage of it. Also, it didn’t hurt that less than an hour after I got the call that the show was cancelled I got a trip offer to go to Israel. So, the universe gave me a nice nudge on that one.

When/where are you going & for how long?

I’m going a bunch of places and nothing is totally set in stone yet. I know that I have a flight into and out of Israel a month apart and I’m going to fill the time in between with some very cold places. Tentatively, I’m looking at Istanbul, Budapest, Prague, Krakow, and Berlin. I’d also like to see Rome, but that’s mostly because I like Gladiator movies.

You’re hitting the road solo. Are you scared? How is that affecting your planning/decision making?

I’m not scared, but I’m also not comfortable (which I think is just my normal state of being). Part of this trip is to do something brand new that I’ve never done before, so I don’t exactly know how it’s affecting my planning/decision making other than I’m the one to plan and make decisions. I think I’ll make friends who are also traveling and if they have more experience than me I’ll just copy everything they do. I assume “fake it ‘til you make it” applies to everything, not just show business.

What are you most excited for? Most nervous about?

I’m most excited to be doing my own thing. Often I get caught up looking at what everyone else is doing and comparing myself to them, which always makes me feel like I’m behind in some way. I think getting away from all that so entirely that it’s impossible to compare is going to be really liberating. “Who cares if So-And-So just released a book, or Yadda-Yadda is getting a talk show? I’m in a bath in Budapest.” is what I hope to say.

I’m most nervous about no knowing the language. I’ve had dreams recently where I’ve been in a French speaking country (which isn’t even on my itinerary) and been totally lost. I’m a talker so not being about to talk to people would be a nightmare for me. In this case, quite literally.

Prior to this trip, what’s the farthest away from home you’ve ever been?

I went to Israel in High School on an organized trip, so I guess distance-wise that’s the furthest, but I knew everyone on the trip so it wasn’t incredibly out of my comfort zone. 

What’s next for you, workwise? 

I just went on a road trip with my friend Steve down the west coast (as a bit of a dry run for this bigger Euro trip) and filmed it for my channel. I’ve really liked editing them together as sort of a Travel Vlog meet The Wonder Years type video and I’m going to keep doing that as I embark on my own. 

Last question: who killed Hae Min Lee?

Best Buy.

* * *

Follow Ross Everett on Twitter, YouTube, Instagram and if you're really lucky, through some train station in Europe. 

You can check out my other Everyday Eleanor interviews in the archives. You know you want to.

I want to hear your Everyday Eleanor story. Email me at heyeleanorproject@gmail.com.

#330. I Reluctantly Revisited This Place for the First Time in A Decade

Books I've paid money for. 

I grew up in Mayberry, basically.

Except it was called Stillwater, Minnesota-- an idyllic, historical town along the St. Croix River. There's a quintessential American main street, a diner with waitresses who've worked there since the Reagan administration, townie bars where everyone knows your name and all your business. Literally.

The Stillwater Public Library is one of the most beautiful places in town.

Ye Olde Stillwater Public Library | Photo by McGhiever 

Built in 1902 (and funded mostly by Andrew Carnegie), the stunning Beaux Arts building looks old-timey fancy and overlooks the Saint Croix River.

As a kid, I remember loving trips to the library, digging through shelves to find books from the Sleepover Friends series (not Babysitters Club, which I only liked because I wanted to have Stacey's handwriting) and creepy R.L. Stine thrillers.

The librarians were so librarian-y (except one who always looked more like a cocktail waitress). At any rate, I loved the public library as a kid.

 

Fast-forward to my sophomore year of college.

University of Wisconsin, circa 2003. I enjoyed studying at coffee shops and the college's libraries. It was nice to get out of my crappy apartment. One day, I walked by the Madison Public Library and thought, "Hmmm... why have I never studied there?"

So I popped in. 

Pardon my honesty, but I immediately noticed a distinct funk in the air.

The building was old (in a bad way), filthy and reeked of body odor. Hrmm. I wasn't just going to walk out, so I continued on and looked for a place to sit.

The entire library was full of homeless people, including this one guy John who regularly slept in the stairwell of my duplex (another weird story for another day).

I sat down and tried to be cool about it. Shortly thereafter, some creepy guy started talking at me. I escaped to the bathroom, which was littered with toilet paper. Next to the sink sat two empty 40s. People drink in a library? Are you kiddin' me?!

 

Smell ya later, scary library!

I told a few friends about my library experience and they were all like, "Yeah, that's the library for ya!" WHAT?! I thought the libraries are all puppies and rainbows and old people checking out large print books. What a sheltered life I'd lived!

I was so turned off, I did not enter another public library until a month ago.

I'd joined my first book club. Instead of buying the book, I decided I would borrow from the brand new Hennepin County Library, which just opened a mile from my house. 

The scary library. Photo courtesy Hennepin County Library 

I was nervous about a few things.

One, parking. Street parking is impossible near the library. I'd normally walk, but it was two degrees. Two, the rigmarole of obtaining a card. Three, finding my book. And lastly, creepy people. 

When I pulled up to the library, I realized they have heated, underground parking for $1 an hour. Not only that, but it was nearly empty and well-lit. 

Welcome to the cleanest parking lot in Minneapolis!

Well, that was easier than expected.

As I entered the library, I immediately noticed the abundance of natural light flooding through the south-facing, floor-to-ceiling windows.

 

No funky smell. Incredibly clean. Quiet. 

Next, I told the librarian I needed a library card. I expected her to be all judgmental (why don't you already have one?! I'll bet you don't even take public transportation!), but she wasn't. I showed her my driver's license and within minutes, I had my card. 

 

Now onto finding the book.

I realized I didn't even know what I was looking for: Fiction or non-fiction? No idea. Author name? You got me. I knew the book title, and hoped the computer sitting at a nearby kiosk was available for folks to search. 

In the Garden of Beasts by Erik Larson. Non-fiction. I wrote down the author's name and walked toward the non-fiction section. 

Larson, Larson, Larson. Where were the Ls? I finally found them and lo-and behold, Erik Larson was not in the LA section. In fact, I couldn't find any Larsons or Larsens or La-anything. Then it hit me:

Remember the Dewey Decimal System?!

Is that still a thing? Turns out, it IS still a thing, so back to the kiosk I went to find the number associated with my book, which was actually E748.D6 L37 2011. Of course!

Found it. 

In the Garden of Beasts = highly recommended!

I walked to a different computer, which looked like one of those self-check lanes at a grocery store. I didn't want to ask, "how do I use this do-hickey." I am a millennial and we know how to use technology. It was actually pretty easy: scan my library card, scan the book's barcode, print receipt. It's kind of crazy that in my lifetime, we've gone from card catalogues and check out cards to a totally computerized system.

Welcome to the future, y'all!

Thirty minutes and fifty cents on parking. That's all this trip cost.

People were friendly, not drinking malt liquor or shouting at me and it was clean, clean, clean! And the best part: the library is like Barnes and Noble or Amazon or Half-priced Books... but FREE!

What a concept! Have you guys heard of libraries yet? They are the next big thing.  

I'll be back soon, library. And I'll bring along the 90 cents I owe you for this two-day overdo book. 

* * *

Sometimes overcoming the mundane things are the scariest... but most rewarding! For example, the time I rode the bus home from work, the time I bought houseplants (they are all still alive, by the way!), and the time I made a rack of lamb at home. 

#329. I'm Starting A New Hey Eleanor Project & I'm So Scared/Excited!

Watch out, world!

I don't know about you, but after this long holiday season, I am feeling like absolute poo. 

Remember just two weeks ago when I declared I'm a morning person?

Well... who kidnapped that lady and replaced her with what could not, would not get out of bed today? I even fell asleep last night at 9 pm. My belly feels awful, my skin looks disgusting, my house is in shambles.

I surely can't be the only one who's having trouble bouncing back, but this has been a great lesson in realizing that even when you think you've got everything all figured out, all it takes is a few non-routine days strung together to throw you into a tailspin.

But this is not what I wanted to tell you about today.

Today, I am doing starting something really fun and exciting and scary. Remember last November when I asked you to pitch me your own Hey Eleanor challenges? We got some really great submissions. My friend Matt Houchin and I are filming three Hey Eleanor web episodes in the next two months.  

Later today, I am meeting up with a very loyal Hey Eleanor reader to do something totally outside his comfort zone. The task? I can't tell you yet, but I will say it's something many of us do every day without much thought. But it's new to him, and so it's scary. 

What scares me: a whole different set of unknowns.

Will things run smoothly? I'm not exactly comfortable on camera, so will I look like an idiot? Will I sound like an idiot? Will you be able to tell that I've literally eaten my weight in ginger snaps, baguettes and salted butter in the last two weeks? And the person we're filming is someone I love so, so much... I just really hope he's not disappointed with the final product. 

However, you never grow or learn or do anything cool if you don't step outside your comfort zone. I could write about my own life forever, contently. Taking it to the screen is way less familiar and makes me feel much more vulnerable. Eww! But if things go well, it could be a huge step in growing Hey Eleanor in the way I've dreamed. So I'm doing it.

Look for the final product on Feb 14, 2015.

Yep, Valentine's Day. Could that be a hint? Maybe. 

* * *

Technically, I've done a few Hey Eleanor videos on my own. Here's my four favorites: the time I ate a live minnow, the time I disposed of a dead mouse, the time I waxed my armpits and the time I changed a diaper for the first time. Enjoy!

Let's Tell Your Hey Eleanor Story

When I started Hey Eleanor last year, I was focused on personal growth. It didn't take very long for me to realize this project was a lot bigger than me. 

As it turns out, most of us are afraid of a lot of things.

We are all in this together.

Wheeee!

Anyhow, last week I met with my buddy, Matt. He's kind of a big deal on the Internet. He pitched a very cool, Hey Eleanor-inspired video idea. And long story short, we're making a video series. 

But here's the thing: we need your help.

I don't want to give too much away, but these videos won't just be about me. It'll be about me and you. Intrigued? Here's what we're looking for:

• People in the greater Twin Cities area (sorry, out-of-towners!) looking to conquer a fear or simply try something for the first time.
• Willingness to be filmed for a day or two in the next three months.

Whether it's making croissants from scratch, driving a manual transmission, singing in public, driving on a frozen lake, holding a snake or trying a new sport (Aerial yoga? Pickle ball? Ice frisbee golf?), we want to document you as you tackle that new thing. If you're scared, I will hold your hand. Figuratively, or maybe literally if you need it. 

Pitch us your idea at heyeleanorproject@gmail.com by Friday, December 5. Please include a short description of what you want to do, why you want to do it & your phone number.

Feel free to get weird with your idea... or really mundane. We're listening.

What It's Like to Have Misophonia

Misophonia sounds ridiculous. But I promise you it's for realz. 

I'm sitting in the corner of my favorite coffee shop, angling my entire body toward a wall. Earbuds in to eschew the sound of the two ladies talking wildly and gesticulating next to me.

My husband sits five tables down, alone.

I was sitting with him, but the guy at the next table is a "tall typer", a term I've given to all people who hammer away at their keyboards like an impassioned concert pianist. I can't be by that. I can't see it or listen to it. If I do, my brain explodes.  

Why? Because I have misophonia.

I didn't know it even was an actual thing until a few years ago. My friend read this article in the New York Times and forwarded it to me. Molly, I think this is you. 

Whoa, that IS ME!

I was relieved. Just knowing I had an actual thing was one of the best things I've ever heard.

I've spent my entire life thinking I am absolutely nuts.

Ever since I was a kid, I've been ashamed by an issue I have with sounds. It's without a doubt the thing I dislike about myself most. If a magical genie gave me three wishes, my first one would be to make the misophonia go away (I'd then wish for a billion dollars and for all pizza to be void of gluten and carbs, but still taste the exact same). From going to the movies to working in an office, this disorder makes daily life challenging.

It sucks.  

I'd tell you the quick-n-dirty facts about misophonia, but they actually did a pretty great job of that in this TODAY show clip:

But if you didn't feel like watching the video, the gist is that certain noises (in my case chewing, popping gum, humming, typing or clicking with a mouse) cause me panic and rage. And not in a "that's really annoying" way.

It's in a I want to punch you in the face way. 

Last week, I literally speed-walked away (while yoga breathing and plugging my ears and shielding my eyes) from the guy checking membership cards at Costco because he was chewing gum with his mouth open. A wee bit extreme, but it's how I deal.  

Like most people with misophonia, I first started experiencing symptoms around age eight.

It began with food.

I hated hearing a spoon hit a cereal bowl, the muffled sound of a hand digging around a bowl of popcorn or slurping soup. I know most people dislike those noises, but it would cause me to act out. Break things, scream, or avoid eating with my family all together. 

Twenty-some years later, I'm still dealing with these same noise problems. In a lot of ways, they've gotten worse. My list of triggers continues to grow, and over the past 10 years, it's moved from just sound to sound AND sight. For example, seeing someone across the room chewing gum causes me to panic, even if I can't hear them.

I know, it's weird. 

However, 20+ years of this ridiculousness means my coping mechanisms are dialed in.

For example:
 

• I almost always have headphones with me, perfect for muffling noises at a coffee shop or smacking gum on an airplane. (BTW, if you have misophonia, airports are the absolute worst. Everyone chews gum at the airport) 
• Earplugs. I almost always have earplugs. 
• My radio is always on, which helps muffle annoying noises.
• I downloaded the White Noise app which I play to drown out distracting sounds.
• I purposely don't spend time with people who constantly chew gum. Yes, really. I avoid spending time with people who constantly chew gum.
• I practice deep breathing techniques to calm myself.
• I've learned the art of subtly plugging my ears-- as seen in the photo below.  

I look like I'm relaxing, but I'm really just plugging my ear so I can't hear you breathe or chew or type or live.

However, of all the things I do to manage my misophonia, the most helpful was meeting another person who has it. Long story short, the same friend who alerted me to the NYT's story introduced me to her friend who also has misophonia. She's normal and awesome and so funny and empathetic.

It's a total relief to have someone who gets it.

We live in different cities, but when one of us is having a particularly bad noise day, we will text each other. "The lady on the bus next to me literally won't stop humming AND she's chewing gum at the same time. Losing my mind!" Just the act of voicing my frustration is a HUGE relief. 

This is precisely why I'm writing this post. 

Though misophonia is a neurological disorder, there's not a lot known about the condition and there is no cure. Some doctors speculate it's a form of OCD, others believe it stems from some faulty wiring in the brain. What is known is that this disorder is real and it can be very debilitating. Hypnosis, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Tinnitus Retraining Therapy can help (full disclosure: haven't tried any of these), but I also read just talking about it can ease misophonia. 

So here is it. I have misophonia. Whew.

My greatest fear in regards to this used to be that people would make fun of me, purposely smack their gum, or write me off as hysterical or overly-sensitive.

Today, my fear is different: I don't want people to feel self-conscious eating/breathing/living around me. I'm already aware that some friends and family do feel self-conscious. I'm sorry guys! To be clear, I don't have a fight-or-flight reaction EVERY time some one is eating around me. If I'm in a place with a lot of stimuli (a busy restaurant or fun party), I don't notice a lot of the eating noises. 

I do, however, always notice the gum.

Always.

Even if you're not not smacking and think there is no way I noticed (I did notice and I am just not saying anything). I can even hear it over the phone. Not so fun fact: The first thing I do when I walk into a room is scan it for gum chewers. If I see anyone a-chewin', I do everything in my power to not talk or look at them until they spit out the gum.

I can't help it. It's so dumb. 

But I digress.

I am already feeling pretty good about sharing my story. Writing this was oddly therapeutic. I'm trying to get over that feeling of shame and embarrassment and I think this a step in the right direction. 

I'm happy to go more in depth on all of this, so if you have any questions about misophonia, please use the comments section! Other coping strategies or treatment ideas are obviously welcome. 

But if you could spit out your gum before commenting, I'd appreciate it. 

* * *

P.S. Two other things I was initially embarrassed about, but ended up being okay: doing stand-up comedy & putting air in my tires. 

STUCK IN A RUT?

SIGN UP FOR ACCESS TO THE #HEYELEANORCHALLENGE!

(plus a FREE copy of 107 Ways to Expand Your Comfort Zone)

Like this post? Share it on Pinterest!

Misophonia sucks.

#279 -280. We Built a Rocket & Blasted It Into Space.

3-2-1, BLAST OFF!

It's pretty silly writing about the events of a beautiful fall day while us Minnesotans are in the midst of a snowstorm. But that's what I'm doing & I don't care! It's a reminder of how crazy-fast autumn flies by.

Rocket Day is one of the best events of the year.

Every September, my Uncle Whitey & Aunt Colleen invite a hundred people to their place to hang out, make apple cider, share hotdish and bars (duh, that's how we roll in the midwest) and launch model rockets. It's a blast, no pun intended.

Okay, pun intended.

A regular Go Fork Yourself podcast listener (that's my show with Andrew Zimmern, btw) owns a model rocket company and sent me this kick-ass WAC Corporal rocket kit. The husband and I decided to build it.

If you're anything like me, when you hear model rocket "kit," you think, I dunno, IKEA. Snap a few pieces together and BOOM. Rocket!

Hahahahahahaha.... I guess that's not how this works. 

Model rockets: Lots of assembly required!

We needed a drill. And superglue. And epoxy. And sandpaper and latex gloves and loads of patience. 

Half of this couple was really excited to build a rocket.

Can you guess who?

If you guessed the engineer, you win the prize!

I, on the other hand, was all butterflies (#279).

These rocket things take quite some time to assemble (we worked on it three separate nights), require all sorts of tools and ingredients I don't understand. It's also the exact type of situation where Josh and I would get into some stupid argument. And then at the end, we have to launch this sucker in front of 100 people and it might explode in the air (#280). All that work down the tubes!

Of course, facing these fears is exactly what Hey Eleanor is all about.

I put on my gloves and started epoxying the crap out of our rocket. 

I'm in the zone. I suspect the wine helped.

Though there were a few tense moments and I may have superglued my fingers together at one point, we built the rocket mostly unscathed.

We didn't have time to paint our rocket (apologies to model rocket purists!), but were okay with that. It would've taken another hour or two and we weren't even sure it would fly. 

Here's Josh & I are with our Apollo WIP. (That's "Work In Progress.")

Fingers crossed!

Josh & I set 'er up on the launch pad. Of course you have to wear a helmet whilst launching your rocket. It makes everything substantially more fun.

We braced ourselves as a hundred of our friends and family counted down from 10.

There she goes!

Waiting for the parachute to open... a nerve-wracking moment.

Miraculously, our rocket not only launched successfully, but after the parachute opened (whew!), it landed right back at our feet. Hugely satisfying & exhilarating!  

My cousin Jocelyn & me. She's responsible for a lot of these awesome pics. 

Patsy doesn't really get rocket day. She just comes for the food.

After watching a dozen or so launches, Josh and I decided to fly ours again. We followed the exact same steps.

However, this time we used a slightly larger engine. 

We put on the helmets. 

We counted down from 10. 

We pressed the launch button.

We watched as our rocket blasted into space.

We screamed as the equivalent of an over-sized lawn dart plummet toward earth from thousands of feet above.

We ran for cover.

Splat!

I guess whoever stuffed the parachute back into the rocket hadn't done a great job (I swear it wasn't me. Okay, it was me). And maybe we should've used a little more epoxy on the fins.

The aftermath: 

Our post-flight rocket.

Think this can be fixer or are we hosed?

Even though our rocket basically exploded, the experience was so much more rewarding and fun because we'd built the rocket ourselves. Usually, I'm content to just bring food to Rocket Day, but now I'm not sure I'll ever go without my own rocket. 

I have to give a shout-out to the real hit of Rocket Day 2014:

Josh brought a drone. And a GoPro.

Josh and his toys, complete with a biffy in the background.

I'll skim over the part of the story where Josh went to the hobby store to buy a parachute for our rocket ($2) and came home with a drone ($400). Not exactly in line with our current budgeting, but at least the video he shot was pretty darn cool. You can watch it here:

Big thanks to Whitey & Colleen for another successful Rocket Day. I'll work on my parachute-stuffing skills for next year. 

* * *

PS This is not Uncle Whitey's first Hey Eleanor appearance. There was the time he took me ice fishing, which was also the same day he convinced me to swallow a live minnow. He's great!