#270. Fact: 99 Percent of Fear is Anticipation.

A nice pic from the folks at the Soap Factory's Haunted Basement. Cute, right? | Photo by Dan Norman

I made up that 99 percent statistic, but anecdotally I know it's true. Don't worry, I'll explain. But first:

I hadn't planned on visiting the Soap Factory's Haunted Basement. 

I went for the first time last year. I didn't sleep for the three weeks between the time I purchased the tickets and the actual event.

I wish I was kidding. 

Somehow, I had more anxiety about walking through a basement full of actors than I did jumping out of an airplane.

Fear is so irrational sometimes. 

Spoiler alert: I survived the 2013 Haunted Basement. It was not at all like I'd expected and I was proud of myself for facing my fear. I did it! I didn't feel the need to go again. 

That is, until three of my girl friends expressed interest in going. 

They'd all heard about it and were all on the fence. Leaning into my fears has changed my life, so just went online and bought us four tickets. 

No backing out now, ladies! 

(Just for fun, I suggest you watch this year's Haunted Basement trailer.)

The four of us went last Wednesday. I'm not going to dish on the details because I don't want to ruin it for those who haven't been yet.

Us four ladies with our official Haunted Basement masks.

Here's what I am willing to share:

• We all had to wear those creepy masks, pictured above. 
   
• About 40 of us entered the basement at the same time. We toured the space for about 20 minutes before heading back upstairs.
   
• Us four girls were separated into two pairs immediately & we never saw each other once in the basement.
   
• My friend Alyssa and I managed to stay together for the first 10 minutes. I lead the way, which is something I would never dreamed of doing last year. I was notably braver this time around!
   
• One of the haunted basement's goals is to get you alone. A man dressed as a cat eventually pulled Alyssa & I apart and led me away. I didn't see her again until we were back upstairs.
   
• I spent about half of my time in the basement walking around alone. Last year, I would've probably lost my mind. This year, I felt fearless!

Conclusion: A great way to deflate fear is simply to experience it. Let it happen. Most of the time, once you're in that "scary moment", it's not even half as bad as you imagined.

Ninety-nine percent of fear is the anticipation. 

Just a year ago, I was paralyzed by the anticipation of going through the basement. After experiencing it, I learned I had nothing to worry about. This, I didn't fret at all. It was a breeze.

Once I learned fear is all about the build up, I could step into a lot of uncomfortable situations with less anxiety. Not just haunted basements, but public speaking, trying new sports, you name it. 

I'm actually thrilled that I returned to the Haunted Basement. It perfectly illustrated how much I've grown and changed through the last year. I'm no longer that anxiety-filled ball of bananagrams and I couldn't be more thankful! 

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P.S. Here's what happened during last year's Haunted Basement. My brave friend, Kate, joined me in this year's basement. Here's her great blog, Flock of Broads.

#264 - 266. I Try 3 Fashion Trends So You Don't Have To.

Ready or not, here I come... in a sequin hat.

Fashion challenges are perfect Hey Eleanor fodder. A) They're reasonably easy to accomplish. B) They can't kill you. 

However, despite their safety, wearing something that's not you can be debilitating, horribly embarrassing and day ruining. Sure, maybe you're just wearing high waisted jeans for the first time since 1979, but if you don't feel comfortable, you lose your mojo.

It's stupid and dumb, but when you spend the entire day thinking that everyone is looking at you in a bad way, it sucks.

Precisely why I tried these three trends for myself.

1. The flashy sequined hat. 

Ready or not, here I come in my woo girl hat!

My dad knows how much I love baseball.

He does, too. In fact, when the All Star Game exploded all over Minneapolis this summer, he hit up fan fest to meet players, mingle with fellow baseball nerds and shell out the big bucks for ASG merch. He saw this blue sequin ASG cap and knew his daughter had to have it.

When I think about my dad buying this hat for me, my heart almost explodes with happiness. It's so, so nice and so, so sweet.

The problem is that I so, so would never wear something like this. 

I tend to stick to neutrals. Denim. Plain tees. If I'm wearing jewelry, it's something delicate and kind of boring, but pretty. Sequins are so not me. I associate hats like this with, I dunno, Real Housewives wannabes who pretend to like sports, but are actually just interested in getting drunk on chardonnay and woo-ing from the third inning on. 

I attended three All Star events & vowed to wear this hat to every single one.

The first day, I couldn't have felt more awkward, especially because I ran into so many people that I knew! However, I promised myself that I wouldn't say a damn thing. There would be no, "I'm wearing this as a Hey Eleanor challenge," or "Do I look ridiculous?"

I owned it.

Apparently, people love sequined hats.  

I love him even though he's a Brewers fan. 

I had no less than 10 women ask OMG where'd you get that hat?! and tons of men commented on it, too. Even the 70-year-old man taking my ticket made a point to tell me how great my hat was. My favorite moment occurred in a Target Field ladies' room, where a completely hammered blonde named Mandy (she introduced herself), bedecked in rhinestone covered jeans, stumbled up to me and said, "I've beeeeeen lohking at yer hat all night and Ieeee luuuuuhhhhhv it. Wurrred you-ah git it?"

Woooooooooo! Nailed it! 

By the end of the ASG weekend, I actually had grown pretty fond of my hat. Aside for the fact that the sequins cut into the tops of my ears (ouch!), I mostly forgot I was wearing the darn thing. 

Trend summary: Recommended if you like to par-tay!

2. The Hot Pink Jumpsuit.

Are you even ready for this stylish broad, Sun Country Airlines?!

Last summer, I scored this hot pink jumpsuit from Forever21 (more accurately, my friend Margie bought it online and it didn't fit her, so she gave it to me because their return policy sucks).

This jumpsuit is fun, but so not me.  

Ready or not, here I come... in a hot pink jumpsuit. Source: Forever21.com

I decided to wear it to my friend Rebecca's rehearsal dinner in Chicago.

There was one minor hitch: the dinner started at approximately the same time my flight landed, so my best bet was to head directly to the party from the airport. Therefore, I wore the jumpsuit on the plane. 

At first glance, this seemed perfect. Jumpsuit = basically pajamas, but in a very put together way, right?

Au contraire. 

The first issue: said jumpsuit was too long. I remedied this by cuffing the pant legs. My friend Liz is a legit stylist and gave the look her blessing.

The problem arose when I realized the jumpsuit's [probably highly flammable] material did not want to stay cuffed. There I was, running through the airport (because of course, I was late), with one pant leg slightly rolled and the other pooling around my foot. A nice look. 

Problem number two? The tiny snap designed to keep my cleavage under wraps quit. My bra was basically hanging out for all to see, most notably the baby-faced college freshman sitting next to me. I re-snapped my top a few times, but mostly spent the entire flight with my arms crossed.

This was not going well.  

Adding insult to injury, I spilled half of my drink on my crotch. 

I swear it's not pee. 

By the time I landed in Chicago, I'd HAD IT with this outfit. And even if the jumpsuit had cooperated, I should've known better.

Any outfit feels disgusting after you've worn it on an airplane. 

Especially one that's fighting you and covered in kalimotxo (the best airplane drink, btw!).

I made it to the dinner, wore the jumpsuit all night and got a few compliments. However, I didn't feel like a million bucks; more like the measly $19.80 this jumpsuit cost in the first place.

Trend summary: Not recommended for airline travel; Wear one that fits/doesn't have a faulty design.

3. The Ugly Floral Sweatshirt.

Ready or not, here I come... in an ugly floral sweatshirt. Even I look skeptical.

You know how you aren't supposed to grocery shop when hungry? That rule applies to clothes shopping when you're freezing cold. Precisely what made me purchase this over-sized sweatshirt that looks like I killed your grandma's davenport, skinned it and made a shirt. 

While in the dressing room, I was like LOVE IT! Warm, cozy and not my regular boring neutrals. When I got home, my husband was like, WTF is that?! 

Errrr.... a big, billowy sweatshirt covered in flowers.

Total man repellant. Oopsies. 

It was a complete impulse buy, but I was determined to wear it. Last Friday, I did. The first three people I saw (all women, btw), enthusiastically told me, Great shirt!  I'll take it!

Trend summary: Ladies love the floral sweatshirt! Do it.

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Have a fashion dare for me? Comment below & I'll give it a whirl!

P.S. Two other fashion things: this 80s throwback, plus the lengths we'll go to score overpriced yoga clothes. 

3 Fall-ish Things I Can't Stop Thinking About

3 fall things I can't stop thinking about... And no, it's not pumpkin spice lattes. 

I'm finally ready to admit summer is donezo.

The trees are ablaze, nights temps are atumblin' into the 30s and nobody can seem to STFU about pumpkin flavored everything. I'll admit I'm like every basic broad in that I am obsessed with fall. It's the best time of year in Minnesota-- no bugs, beautiful colors, and fashion is all about sweaters/scarves/boots combos. This time of year makes me simultaneously want to get outside and do stuff (cause winter is coming!) and prepare my house and self for the next six month (cause winter is coming!).  

So with that in mind, here's the stuff I can't stop thinking about. 

1. This Article about Madewell. 

The interesting story behind one of my favorite brands. 

If I were rich and famous, I'd own every single thing from Madewell (especially for fall... best sweaters/scarves/boots! #PSL), which is precisely why I felt icky when I stumbled upon this article. 

Essentially, J.Crew bought the rights to the Madewell's name and logo-- a workwear company founded in 1937. The article intended to expose the fakey-fake of this "heritage" brand. J.Crew is using another entity's story as their own. 

I expected to agree with the piece. I didn't.

Madewell's former iteration lost touch with the market's trends/needs and shuttered. Nearly two decades later, J.Crew made the brand relevant again. I don't know how they secured the brand and logo, but they saw value in it and did it.

It's not unlike selling a property that's been in the family for generations.

Maybe it's a cabin that's too much work, too expensive or simply impractical to own. The property is sold and new owners take over.... and they change everything and it breaks your heart. Those emotions are totally understandable and normal.

But the fact of the matter is, you gave it up. Someone else saw potential in something you'd let go. They made it their own. It happens. Am I way off the mark here?

I understand current Madewell has nothing to do with the one founded in 1937 (a lot of brands do this... pssst Abercrombie & Fitch), but I think it's fine to build something new out of something old. I never assumed Madewell as it stands today has much to do with whatever they were doing in 1937; I mean, an alleged 80-year-old store just appearing out of nowhere in every American mall selling stylish womens clothing? C'mon, we all know that reeks of something fishy. They're making beautiful clothes that are in the spirit of the original company's workwear. I'm okay with that. 

Especially 'cause I want all of their clothes in my closet.  

2. This Box of Crackers from Trader Joe's.

Why can't I quit you, Pumpkin Cranberry Crisps?!

I bought these for my future sister-in-law's bachelorette party. We had so many other snacks that we never even opened them. I did, however, open them when I got home from the party and basically ate 80 percent of the box. I am so over the pumpkin flavored everything (it has jumped the shark!), but I can't stop and won't stop eating these. UGH.

3. Voluspa Candles

Voluspa = the best candles ever. 

As the temperatures dip, I'm obsessed with finding ways to make our place cozier. A Voluspa candle is easily my number one pick (well, after having the hubs bring our AC window units to the basement, but who wants to read about that?!). My future sister-in-law Shari introduced me to these a few year ago and I am hooked.

They don't come cheap ($26.95, to be exact), but they smell amazing, look gorgeous in your house and make a home cozier than drinking a pumpkin spiced latte while wearing Uggs, leggings and a comfy sweater while cuddling with a cat and watching The Bachelor. Not that I would know, because I have never done that. 

What's your biggest fall obsession?

And P.S. to further fuel your fall obsession, here's a post about one of the scariest things I did last October.

#258. I Avoided Doing This Super Easy Thing for Five Years (!)

Metro Transit. So easy, even I could do it. 

Her symptoms were serious, but vague. Check engine light on, tire pressure notification blinking. And then there was the fact that I'd been avoiding an oil change for a bit too long.

I had to bring the Jetta in for a check up. 

I dropped her off first thing in the morning. She was okay, but the mechanic needed to order a part that wouldn't arrive until the next day. Which was fine, but meant I was stranded at work. It was no big deal though. I could just take the bus home.

Except I've never done that before. 

I've bussed it downtown Minneapolis a lot of times, but in my real life, I walk, bike or drive most places. Sometimes I splurge and take a cab. Sometimes when I feel super fancy, I Uber. I weirdly felt very ballsy at the prospect of bussing home. 

Since I had no idea how to get from my office to my home, I Googled it. I was shocked at the results: Catch the 12 literally .5 blocks from my office. Ride for 15 minutes. Get off the bus literally 1.5 blocks from my house. 

I didn't even have to transfer! Why had I NEVER done this before?!

At 5:24pm, I walked to the bus stop. Two minutes later, I boarded the bus, taking the only seat available: next to the guy with super loud headphones who was, of course, sitting like this. 

I spent the next 18 minutes texting, buzzing around the Internet and just hanging out. All of a sudden, we were at my stop. I got off the bus, walked for three minutes and arrived at home. 

In total, it was about 25 minutes. 

So easy. And I could text and do all sorts of other things that I can't normally do when driving. 

Because I like to run errands after work, can park for free and it only takes me about 15 minutes to drive to the office regularly (plus, I think it would actually cost me more than driving), I don't see myself being a regular bus commuter. However, this experience did illuminate a few things:

1. How complacent we can get in our day to day lives. 

Honestly, how have I worked in this building for years and never even bothered to look up how I might get here by bus?! What else am I simply not seeing because I am so locked into my routine?!

2. I love the flexibility of driving, but feel more connected on public transportation. 

Sure, the ability to go wherever I want before or after work is nice. But it's also great not relying on a car. It's freeing. You see a lot of things you'd normally miss and feel more connected to your city and community. 

3. I could probably get away with not driving for awhile if I tried a little harder. 

Which is a Hey Eleanor challenge that's just around the corner! Yikes. Wanna pick me up?

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PS there's been a lot of car talk on this blog... surprising, since I know little to nothing about them. There was the time I bought one (and the time I talked about it in my first standup comedy set), the time I put air in my tires, the time I jump started my car. 

#239. Saying No After You've Already Said Yes.

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around for a while, you could miss it. - Ferris Bueller

I know I'm not alone in my tendency to over-commit. Some days, I look at my calendar and an horrified by how few free days I have. It seems like just two years ago I was all, "What HBO show will I binge-watch tonight?" These days, I can't even find time to pee. 

After suffering a near panic attack in June, I started making hard decisions about my time. In the weeks before my wedding, I committed to not making any plans aside from essentials (for example, doctor's appointments). Not even fun things, like happy hour. Instead, I opted to make only game-time decisions. You wanna grab a drink next Tuesday? No. You wanna grab a drink tonight? Bring it on!

Boy, oh, boy. Was that ever a relief.

As Braveheart would say, Freeeeeeeedom! It was great to be able to fully enjoy the things I was doing every night. These things felt right in the moment, not felt right two weeks ago. 

But I digress.

The thing I wanted to get to (which is Hey Eleanor moment #239) is how I said no to a big, important thing I committed to two years ago.

The short story: my friend Danielle is probably one of the most amazing, "I want to change the world and no one can stop me from doing it!" people I have ever met. She's both visionary and light-hearted, driven and hysterical-- something I just adore. She's also insanely into animals, specifically dogs (she's a dog trainer; if you live in the Twin Cities, you and your pooch should take her classes). And you all know how I feel about dogs. 

Kenai and Sharpie... You gotta admit, just looking at these pups makes ya feel good. 

In 2011, Danielle launched a non-profit called Canine Inspired Change. It's a program that brings therapy dogs to people and communities that need them. Think at-risk kids, people in hospice, sober houses, the Courage Center. If you're anything like me, 10 minutes snuggling with my dog can erase a day of BS at work. Dogs are more magical than unicorns. You can read more about why I love what she's doing here. 

Rascal giving hugs to a young boy who recently experienced trauma at home. *Cue my heart exploding!

I believe in Canine Inspired Change. 100 percent. 

I mean, look at this letter from one of the grade school kids they worked with recently:

Cue heart exploding again!

That's why it was easy to say yes when she asked me to be on the CIC board. Dogs + helping people + Danielle = What's not to love? The problem was that as time went on, my calendar started bursting at the seams. This thing I really, really wanted to be a part of simply could not get my full attention. It made me feel awful. I didn't want to let my friend down. 

I hemmed and hawed about how I could make it work. For months. Then, magically, this MarieTV episode plopped into my inbox. Essentially, Ms. Marie points out that life changes. It's okay to back out after you've said yes. Be honest about it. 

I know this seems obvious.

But sometimes when you're in the moment, it's not. 

After missing several board meetings due to travel for work and wedding planning, I called Danielle and said that while I love her organization, I couldn't make it to the meetings and day-to-day commitments required of a board member. She completely understood. I then offered to support CIC through social media (a place where I'm already talking about things) and word of mouth (I talk a lot, too). These are easy things I can do and don't require me to drive clear across town for a meeting.  

In the end, I think both Danielle and I are happy with the decision. Why would she want someone who doesn't have the time to work on her non-profit? And why would I want to feel guilty about it all the time?

More CIC magic!

What I can do is tell all of you about CIC.

Like them on Facebook. Check out their website. Think your pooch might make a good therapy dog? Ask her how. Donate to them on GiveMN (don't make me ask you to dump a bucket of ice water laced with dog slobber on your head). These guys are the real deal.

We Got Married & It Was Awesome!

Hanging out on the Foshay's observation deck | W Hotel - MPLS - Wedding

Hey Eleanor accidentally turned into a wedding blog over the past few months, but that's just because I got married.
 

Marriage is no joke.

I don't think I need to explain why it's scary. However, I'm feeling very confident that Josh & I are a good match. We're not expecting perfection, but I think we've got a solid foundation. We really, really, really like each other. Plus, he's so handsome.

In the months leading up to the wedding, I maybe got six hours of sleep total. I stressed out over the amount of money spent on one party, the fact that our venue didn't have air conditioning, the weather (we were to have an outdoor cocktail hour), not to mention that whole part where I needed to spill my guts out to the man I love in front of 250 people. No pressure.

Just hanging on in a NE Minneapolis parking lot in fancy clothes | Uppercut Boxing Gym Wedding - MPLS

Everything I feared might go wrong did go wrong.

It not only poured rain, but so much so that the shuttle bringing our guests to the hotel had to pull over on I-94 because the driver couldn't see the road. We postponed the ceremony until those guests arrived, which was about an hour late. 

The heat? Brutal. The humidity? Even worse. They could've held a hot yoga class in the there. I've never been so sweaty in my life.

Realest moments of my wedding | Uppercut Boxing Gym Wedding - MPLS

Other highlights?

The kitchen equipment showed up three hours late, the decorations we made fell apart en route to the gym, a wedding guest had to leave directly from the ceremony to the ER (they're fine, btw), and by the end of the night, the bottom eight inches of my dress looked the color of a chalkboard. 

Guess what.

It was the greatest party ever. Could not have cared less about my destroyed dress, the rain actually seemed to unify the crowd, the food was great and that whole starting the wedding an hour late business? We just opened the bar early and everyone was thrilled.

Conclusion: If you're focused on all the things not going as planned during your wedding, you are doing it wrong! Let it go, it'll be fine, focus on having fun...

It's just a party.

(Albeit the most expensive one you've probably ever thrown.)

Our good lookin' wedding party | Uppercut Boxing Gym Wedding - MPLS

Confession: I love stalking wedding photos on the internet.

Sometimes I'm all, "awwwww....", and other times I'm all "ahahahahahahahawkward!" At any rate, I figured I should share a sampling of pics for my fellow wedding photo stalkers. You know who you are. Enjoy.  

Maybe not everyone's style, but we loved this! | Uppercut Boxing Gym Wedding - MPLS

Obligatory emotional dad pic. Love this one! | Uppercut Boxing Gym Wedding - MPLS

My Godfajah sharing a few words. | Uppercut Boxing Gym Wedding - MPLS

The kiss. | Uppercut Boxing Gym Wedding - MPLS

Let's party!  | Uppercut Boxing Gym Wedding - MPLS

Uncle Mike. Muncle. Miguel del Lago. Uncle Pike. | Uppercut Boxing Gym Wedding - MPLS

That's a lot of friends! | Uppercut Boxing Gym Wedding - MPLS

Twilight, rainbows, puddles, artsy stuff | Uppercut Boxing Gym Wedding - MPLS

Realest moments of my wedding: dirty dress. | Uppercut Boxing Gym Wedding - MPLS

Flower stash | Uppercut Boxing Gym Wedding - MPLS

Pies from Turtle Bread | Uppercut Boxing Gym Wedding - MPLS

Our first dance. | Uppercut Boxing Gym Wedding - MPLS

Dancing with my dad | Uppercut Boxing Gym Wedding - MPLS

Josh & Moomsie | Uppercut Boxing Gym Wedding - MPLS

Dance time | Uppercut Boxing Gym Wedding - MPLS

Huge thanks to Jonny Edwin & his beautiful wife Liz for the kickass photos. If you're getting married, you should hire them. Srsly. 

A big shout out to The Bash Collective, who planned & styled our wedding. It was worth every penny! I did not worry about a thing the day of the wedding, thanks in huge part to Alyson & her team. They did a fabulous job. 

Other amazin' vendors:

Excellent grub by Andrew Zimmern's Canteen. Pulled pork & chicken, watermelon salad, a smattering of different BBQ sauces, corn bread, plus an appetizer spread to die for (Thai chili shrimp, chicken satay, homemade hummus & pita chips... dude!). Their cucumber-mint lemonade, spiked with vodka, disappeared faster under-agers at a cop-busted house party. Brian & his team from Liquid Motion were a delight to work with & seemed genuinely happy to be there. One of our guests that's a veteran bartender even commented what a great job they did. 

Matt Kotefka: wedding DJ. I've known Matt since I was knee-high to a grasshopper. He's one of the greatest guys ever & his DJing skills are second to none. Do you want people to mill about your wedding and not dance? Great! Make a playlist on your iPod! Do you want people to dance at your wedding? Hire Matt. 

Our last minute decision to hire the Traveling Photo Booth was a total WIN! So fun & a great alternative to a guestbook. Videographer? Mariah Harrison all the way. Just saw our highlight reel today & it's so great.

I got my Justin Alexander dress at Bridal Accents Couture (not to be confused with Jason Alexander), but the ladies at A Stitch Above the Rest are the ones who really made it special. There alterations were perfect, they were so nice to work with. I had zero reservations leaving my dress in their hands. And the shoes? Clark's. I know. I know! Friggin' Clarks!

My coworker Madeleine did our gorgeous flowers. Though she only does a few weddings a year, the girl knows her stuff! Marissa Rasmusson, my hair stylist and friend, made my hair look like a million bucks; makeup by Alison Schlak (nailed it!). 

If you've always wanted to get married in a boxing gym, check out Uppercut.  

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Have a wedding "disaster" that turned out to be not so bad after all? Share in the comments. And if the disaster actually was that bad? Share in the comments!

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