#207. How to Dine Alone and Feel Like a Badass.

Well, hola right back at ya!

Eating breakfast alone? No big deal. Solo lunch? Psshhht, I'll sit at a table and check emails. But dinner all by yourself? That's a whole different can of Spaghetti-Os, especially when you decide to sit at a table, not the bar, and keep phone use to a minimum.

That's what I did when I stumbled upon Hola Arepa's soft opening (side note: I loathe that term. YUCK). It's a cute, small restaurant specializing in the Venezuelan arepa... think of it as a mashup between a taco and sandwich, housed in a delicious corn pancake. I was hungry, alone and wanted something easy but delicious for dinner. Plus, I am still trying to stay Whole30-ish and I knew Hola Arepa had lots of awesome options. It's almost completely gluten-free (if you're into that kind of thing), but not because it's trendy, it just happens to be gluten-free. 

If you're looking for me this summer, 50 percent chance I'll be on this patio. 

I wedged my car into a spot I think was a parking space (the lot is small... whaddayagonnado?) and marched right in. The hostess asked, "How many in your party?" I replied, "Just me!" (probably with a little too much enthusiasm). I was seated at a two top, and selected to sit along the banquet so I could see the rest of the room, which is decked in reclaimed wood and dangly Edison bulbs (obviously, as it's 2014 and this is the thing to do. No complaints!).

Can't wait to belly up here.  photo courtesy of Hola Arepa

Initially, I didn't feel awkward. It's totally normal to arrive before the rest of your party and wait it out. Sitting alone is not weird... until your server asks if you're waiting and you say no and then they whisk the extra plate/silverware/glass and menus away.

This is when it gets weird. 

I challenged myself to leave my phone in my purse (aside from taking a couple of photos and sending one text). I just sat there and read the menu, absorbed my surroundings, fabricated stories about the people around me and who they were with. I was totally content.

Table for one!  photo courtesy of Hola Arepa

Every person, from the bussers to the waitress, asked if someone would be joining me and every time I said no. There was almost a wince that momentarily appeared on their face. This was not limited to the staff. The two men sitting next to me felt the need to engage me in conversation, asking about what I ordered and whether or not it was any good. I enjoyed talking to them, but definitely didn't need to. 

Yum yum gimme some.

My food arrived literally four minutes after I ordered. If I'm being honest with myself & you, I probably gobbled up my arepa (ham and eggs... not my favorite, but I definitely plan on going back and ordering something else) and side salad in less than seven minutes. I am a fast-ish eater, but this was waaaaay faster than normal. 

Aside from my Speedy Gonzales consumption, I found eating alone wasn't a big deal. If I'd allowed myself to use my phone or brought a book along, it would have really been no big thing. 

But even sans crutch, it was fine and here's why:

Guess what? Hardly anyone goes out to dinner to sit and feel sorry for the person eating by themselves. They are too busy enjoying their own food and trying to convince their Ok Cupid date that they're awesome, even though they lied about their height. The staff doesn't care because they are busy working. The people next to you might feel the need to chat you up (which I did love, really!), but that's actually all about them projecting their feelings regarding eating alone on to you. Honestly, they probably think you're incredibly confident for eating by yourself (they might be thinking, "I could never do that!"), not that you have a million cats and zero friends. 

In the end, no one really cares that you are dining solo. And if they do, they probably just think you're cool. 

This is what makes you a badass. Own it. 

Have a good dining alone story or tip? Share in the comments, por favor! Oh, and here is another scary thing I did by myself. 

Everyday Eleanor: I Turned My Passion Project into a Budding Beauty Empire

Just look at this woman... clearly she knows a thing or two about skincare (and sunscreen!). Tell me everything!

Elizabeth Dehn has your dream job. She's magically figured out how to sample the best (and probably some of the worst) beauty products on the planet and get paid for it. Ugh! Lucky! She's a beauty editor, kind of a big deal on Pinterest and her blog Beauty Bets is one of the most informative (and down to earth) pitstops on the web. That's awesome and all, but I'm naming her this week's Everyday Eleanor for taking the leap from beauty editor to product designer. That sort of transition comes with all sorts of pressure and expectations (and, as it turned out, some hard-earned lessons), but eventually, she's helped create one hell of a skincare line with One Love Organics. It's real good, guys. Here's how she got there.

* * *  

So, were you one of those kids who started digging into Mom's makeup bag as soon as you could reach the bathroom counter?  

YES. Though my mom is incredibly low-maintenance, she did rock the Bonne Bell cheek tint and Anais Anais perfume back in the day. I also spent hours playing with grandmother's Aquanet, cold creams and retro-red lipsticks. 

You started Beauty Bets in 2009. Today there are so many blogs and sites dedicated to beauty products. What was the scene like then? How has it changed? 

Confession: I don't read many beauty blogs. Kind of like I couldn't watch The Office when I worked for a large corporation. But back then I definitely started the blog because I couldn't find many that I wanted to read, that had an editorial voice and beautiful images like fashion and food blogs. There are definitely more today, but bloggers have gotten so much more visually-minded with the advent of Pinterest. It's more about the pictures than the words, which keeps journalists like me on our toes!

You probably want to subscribe to her blog. 

Don't be modest, you're kind of a big deal (and one of the most influential people on Pinterest. 5.7 million followers, but who's counting!). Why do you think people connect so well with Beauty Bets?  

Ugh! I'm so bad at the self-promotion part. It doesn't come naturally to most writers. But ironically I think that's why BB has been successful. It's relatable, not promotional. I'm only going to put out products and treatments I'd recommend to my best friend or my boss—not put out any old press release that comes across my desk. I also write only about topics that really interests me. More likely than not, whatever is on my mind is on the mind of my readers', too. I'm not afraid to talk about real stuff, like sunspots, staying regular and depression. Those posts always resonate more than the eyeshadow color of the moment. 

How did you make the leap from beauty editor to creating your own line of products? I wouldn't even know where to start!  

Let's be clear: I got really, REALLY lucky. One Love had been around for a few years when I met the founder, Suzanne LeRoux, because I was writing about her products. We really clicked, and emailed often about the indie beauty industry, ingredients, trends, observations, etc. One day she asked if I would be open to collaborating. The conversation started with us teaming up on a single, limited-edition product, but as you can see that sparked a full-fledged permanent collection that we will continue building upon. There's no doubt in our minds that we were meant to do this work together. 

Five bottles of awesomeness.

Did you have a crystal-clear vision of what your One Love Organics line would look and feel like?

Yes, though the finished product turned out better than I could've imagined. I wanted to prove that when it comes to skincare, all-natural and highly effective needn't be mutually exclusive. So often you get one without the other. It was also essential that the product look like a million dollars—timeless, without taking itself too seriously. I fully admit to choosing beauty based on packaging. That's part of the experience; it needs to make me happy sitting on my vanity or bathroom shelf. Those were the criteria, and they were a tall order, but after a year of formulating, testing, and designing, we launched our first two products with a lot of pride. And of course we're already tinkering and talking about how to make even better! 

Looks as good on your face as it does on your shelf. 

Let's talk hiccups (figurative, not literal). As an outsider, all I see is success, success and success. Were there some major hurdles along the way? Did you ever feel like quitting? What kept you going (and what did you learn from your mistakes)?  

Prior to teaming up with One Love Organics, I worked with a local manufacturer on a short-lived skincare line. I quit my job to focus on the blog and products, so when the manufacturer suddenly closed its doors, I was devastated. The good news is that I learned from that experience what my strengths are, and what I want and need in a business partner. One Love allows me to focus on what I do best—product development, branding, creative, marketing and pr—while they handle the nitty gritty like manufacturing, sales, supply chain. In all things, I believe in spending your energy on what comes naturally and hiring out the rest!

You're known for reviewing beauty products, but now are on the production side of the equation. How has that changed your perspective?  

I'm as picky as ever! But also even more in awe of the indie brands who do what they do with so few resources. They are my heroes. I'm actually the hardest on my own products, which One Love would attest to with a loving eye roll. I have to be discriminating if I'm going to put my name on something. We don't release anything that doesn't make us literally jump up and down and scream aloud about. There has been more than one product left on the lab floor for this reason.

Technically, I am an adult. What are the three products I should probably be using everyday (aside from general hygiene items. I got that covered)? 

A good cleanser that's gentle yet deep-cleaning, since clean skin is the foundation for all of the products you put on it. A facial oil or serum rich in plant oils (not water or alcohol) to feed your skin the moisture it needs and balance out your complexion. Sunscreen, sunscreen, sunscreen. Nothing ages us faster than the sun—I'll forever be undoing the damage from the first 20 years of my life. 

Advice for someone wanting to make their entrepreneurial dreams a reality?  

Find good mentors. Ask for help and offer to help. Go easy on yourself. Celebrate the wins, no matter how small. Hire a cleaning lady! 

* * *

Born and raised in Minnesota by surprisingly low-maintenance parents, beauty writer and lifestyle editor Elizabeth Dehn (aka Bets) spent her awkward years buying Mood lipstick and whipping up DIY face masks before founding Beauty Bets in 2009 as a way to share candid product reviews and real beauty advice for smart women everywhere. When she’s not test-driving the latest beauty treatment (bee venom facial, anyone?) or serving as the beauty editor for Mpls. St. Paul Magazine and ClementineDaily.com, Elizabeth can be spotted running the Minneapolis Lakes with Mr. Bets and their white lab, Molly Thomas, or sipping champagne on a killer patio. Pass the sunscreen.

I want to hear your Everyday Eleanor story. Email me at heyeleanorproject@gmail.com.

Oh and PS, here's the beauty tip that changed my life and cut my getting ready time in half. 

Everyday Eleanor: I'm Having a Baby in a Foreign Country

So artsy and so cute. 

I know people give birth every single day. And still, the entire idea of having a baby freaks me out. What's happening to my body? I'm supposed to squeeze what out of where?! And then there is the "Oh my gosh, now I gotta raise this baby!?" Now imagine that all of that is happening to you in a country you're not from, where you're just learning the language. Yikes!

And yet that is my friend Kimberly's story. Now, to be fair, she's currently living in Germany, not some war-torn country in political unrest. And her husband is German. But still, navigating a new culture while experiencing your first pregnancy sounds scary to me. Kimberly, however, is one brave and adventurous gal. She's lived everywhere from Turkey to India and Tanzania, and even met her hubby while living on a huge sail boat in the Caribbean. She's the coolest and is going to be the best mom! 

I should mention that Kimberly actually went into labor while writing this, so infinity Hey Eleanor bonus points to her for actually managing to complete it during the contractions.   

* * * 

How did a nice Minnesotan gal like you end up in Berlin?

I was a very curious teenager growing up in Plymouth, Minn., pushing my boundaries in many ways in life. One night, as I wandered alone through the racks of travel books at the Ridgedale Borders bookstore, (no doubt carrying some complicated coffee-to-go drink, dying to feel older), I stumbled upon a meeting for students interested in studying abroad. I filled out an application, was accepted and took a spot in Europe departing a few months later. After 15 years of moving between other states and countries for study and work, I'm still fulfilling that dream of exploring the world.

Along the way, you met your now-husband, David. You grew up in the states, David grew up in Germany. Was the decision to live in Germany a tough one? Do you see yourself being there forever or somehow splitting your time between the US & Europe?

Actually, yes, moving to Germany was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made because it had to be done with very little of myself in mind. At the time, David's job offer in Berlin was on the table, we were living in Tanzania. The two of us were running a safari lodge with equal responsibility as General Management and I felt entirely fulfilled by my work. The switch to Germany would allow us a stable environment for attempting a family, but also cripple me initially in terms of language and career. I had hoped our next move would actually take us closer to Minneapolis and my family, but in the end, nothing was popping up stateside.

We’ve made Berlin work for us in a way that I believe will keep us here at least 50 percent of the time in the future. Our hospitality consulting company has opened a second branch in Germany, allowing me to take on project work. I have spent the last nine months learning German intensively in an attempt to break down the language barriers. An ideal situation would be one that gives us reason to live and work from both Berlin and Minnesota in the future. I could actually see that happening with the Houseboat Company we are currently consulting. [Hey Eleanor note: if you're traveling to Germany, you should probably check out those houseboats... very cool!]

Last winter, you two announced you were expecting your first child. YAY! Did you have much anxiety surrounding the fact that you were new to Germany and their healthcare system?

That’s a great question with an easy answer: no. Honestly, the German healthcare system is what first weakened my critical eye on our new surroundings. After spending two and a half years in Tanzania, where healthcare still has a long way to go, the thought of giving birth in Germany was completely comforting.

I'm pretty sure she kept up with her yoga routine... hot momma!

I'm assuming German healthcare is different than the states. What surprised you? What's been fabulous? What's been less than stellar?

Midwifery is offered seamlessly alongside the normal doctor’s checkups for no additional cost. Each midwife advertises his/her additional certifications and meets the patients in their homes for treatment. I chose a woman that is trained in acupuncture and receive bimonthly treatments on my couch in my living room. It is a dream.

Due to insurance regulations, I will have a second midwife accompany me to the hospital for the birth. We have conjured up a birth plan together with points like “only English to be used in the delivery room” to make the experience more controlled and comfortable.

Any cultural differences that have taken some getting used to?

Germans are known to be quite direct, which can be jolting when spoken to in a harsh way by a perfect stranger. I had a woman on the subway the other day tell me that my freshly brushed and well behaved dog on a leash was dirty. Also, there is a general overuse of the prolonged stare. I cannot get used to catching so many eyes boldly groping my nine-month wide belly when out in public.

Has the language barrier been an issue?

After months of daily lessons, then private lessons, I would love to say no…but yes. The German language is notorious for making the speaker decide upon the entirety of their sentence before they even start speaking. The most important things you want to say must be conjugated in relation to the start of your sentence and then held onto, remembered perfectly, and left at the end of the sentence. My English has suffered immensely during the periods of time I have tried complete immersion.

A baby shower... Germans, they're just like us! 

I've heard you Europeans get, like, seven years paid time off to raise kids. What's the real deal?

Germany does a pretty good job with maternity leave, although I believe the Scandinavian countries still top the list as having the best benefits. We are given six weeks before the birth and eight weeks after of paid time off by the employer and insurance company. The government then sponsors a percentage of one’s income for the rest of the 12 months if the mother decides to take more time off. Additionally, day care is subsidized and can be arranged full time shortly after birth.

You once joked that dogs are more accepted in Berlin than babies, which I find to be absolutely fascinating. Please explain.

Our dog, Mickey, sits under our table at every café or restaurant with us without a second glance. It was just recently, however, that I started noticing how many establishments sport a decal on the door of a crossed out stroller. A coffee shop I visited last week asked for parents to be aware of the noise level of their children. But then again, this place also refuses to serve their filter coffee any way other than black, which may mean they are just too cool for me.

Baby Bjorn... Puppy Bjorn... whatever. 

Proud parents Kimberly & David with their big bro, Mickey.

Sometimes sentiment gets lost in translation. Most awkward thing someone has said to you during your pregnancy?

I’ve had quite a few which I allow to roll off my back by sharing with friends and family and having a good laugh. My latest favorite came out after a nice dinner on the front of one of the houseboats where a Czech man asked me “if I would lose that FAT that I gained during the pregnancy rather fast or if it would take me a while." This is where I nicely wished him good night, but thought about pushing him into the water.

* * * 

Literally as she was typing that last sentence, David got "the bag" ready and they headed to the hospital, where Jakob Elliott was born at 4:58am on May 12. Congrats! Or should I say, gratulation! 

I want to hear your Everyday Eleanor story. Email me at heyeleanorproject@gmail.com.

David, Kimberly and baby Jakob. Mom, baby and dad are all doing well. 

Six Ways to Make Training for a 10k (or 5k or Half Marathon) Easier

Some people get a runner's high, I think I get a runner's low.

Five runs into my trail run training session and it's official:

I still don't like running.

To get you up to speed: About six weeks ago, I signed up for my first 10k, which also happens to also be my first trail run. Anyone who has ever talked exercise with me knows that I loathe running. It's just not my thing. Even during stints where I ran regularly, I don't think I've ever run anything faster than an 11 minute mile.

Now that I'm drinking the CrossFit Kool-aid, I don't even understand why you'd ever go running. It's so boring, and apologies to you runners out there, but the only "results" I've seen after committing to running is that I'm a little better at running and have joint pain. Months of CrossFit, on the other hand, has lead to me finally being able to do a pull-up, a crap load of push-ups and has also made me a better runner. Go figure. 

Anyhow, the beyonce and I are training together. Since he's done a bazillion races, I let him create our training plan. We're both going to CrossFit a few times a week, so he thought one run a week would suffice. I was happy to hear that because, hey, remember how I hate running? Like I said, we've got five training runs under our belt, the longest being a six-miler in beautiful Theo Wirth Park. I mean, it sucked, but it was beautiful. See? I am trying to be optimistic! And on that note, here are the five ways I make running more enjoyable.

1. This American Life.

For a few bucks, you can get the This American Life app which grants you access to their entire library. Hundreds of hour-long radio shows that will make you laugh and cry, sometimes simultaneously. In fact, last week I listened to the "Death and Taxes" episode and had tears streaming down my face. A shout out to Freakonomics, the Moth Radio Hour, Radiolab and Stuff Mom Never Told You. You take the pain away!
 

2. Go on a Quest.

I probably should've put this one first, because it's my best running tip. I like efficiency, and so I'll use my run as a means to check something out. For example, when I was looking for a house, I'd plan my runs around houses I'd been eying online. It was a great tactic-- visiting a place on foot gives you a much different feel than driving there. Other ideas? Run to a new restaurant and check out their menu, make a deposit at an ATM (I have a small running pouch aka fannypack that makes this easy) or try to spy on an ex. No, actually don't do that last one.
 

Patsy, trying to give me CPR.

3. GPS Watch.

I'm not a gadget person, but the beyonce has one and it's awesome. Now I don't have to plot out my routes prior to puttin' on my running shoes, and it tells me my pace. My very s-l-o-w pace. I think you can probably upload your runs to the internet and have some app track your progress. That's a bit too much technology for me, but maybe you're into that. 

4. Leave the Dog at Home.

I love my dog, but she is the worst on a run. The beyonce can deal with her (or maybe he just runs fast enough that she doesn't jump all over him). As much as leaving her at home bums me out, it's torturous enough just running in general. So maybe you don't have a dog, or your dog runs like an angel, or maybe you have a very athletic cat who makes your runs endlessly entertaining... my point is, if there is anything that makes your run less enjoyable, skip it.

5. Breaks are Okay.

I always see these nimbly-bimbly runners hauling ass around the lakes. Meanwhile, I am slogging through my first mile, repeating "don't-quit-don't-quit-don't-quit." Seeing these speed demons always made me feel crappy... until one day, it occurred to me that I'm almost exclusively seeing people for 15 seconds or less. Who knows, they could be sprinting until they just passed me, then collapse in a heap of exhaustion. I've decided that sometimes it's okay to take a 30 second break or a minute or whatever you need. Some people even implement breaks as a training strategy. I like those people.
 

How could you possibly prefer a treadmill to this?

6. Make Runs Pretty!

Last week, we did six miles in Theodore Wirth. It's a beautiful park right in the heart of Minneapolis. Tons of trails, a few waterfalls, hills (ugh to the ups, yay to the downs), a weird bog... being in the beautiful great outdoors took my brain away from the pain. Plus, we saw nine deer! In the city! Although, maybe we saw the same three deer in three different places. At any rate, it was the best.

* * * 

What makes running more enjoyable for you? Please elaborate in the comments. I need all the help I can get!

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#201. I Turned Trash into Dining Room Chairs (& it was easy!)

The beyonce and I have been scoping out dining room chairs for over six months. Crate and Barel, West Elm, IKEA, Target and many a garage sale. Too expensive, too uncomfortable, too boring. 

Then, while we were checking out our friend Gustavo's new house, we unearthed the solution to our problem:

One man's trash is another man's new dining room throne!

The former owners left two of these country-kitchen-chic chairs behind. What fools! Potential, for as far as the eye could see.

Now how do I go about tapping into said potential?

It's not that I'm anti-DIY, it's just that sometimes I look at the time and cost it will take me to do something myself... then compare it to how much it will cost to just buy the same thing. Often times, the project isn't worth the trouble. I'd like to change this about myself, as it seems really wasteful and just makes me sound like a brat. I am working on it. Hence, Josh and I decided make these (very comfortable, but very ugly) chairs work.

I took the lead on Project DIY Dining Rooms Chairs, which made no sense because I had no idea what I was doing. But they were free chairs, so what's the worst that could happen? We turn them into a bonfire or something! I'm sure those fumes would be very healthy. 

The beyonce helped me create a plan:

First, we sand.

Nothing but the highest quality stuff for us!

The dog was very helpful here.

Apparently, you are supposed to sand WITH the grain. I didn't exactly know this, but was set straight pretty quickly. It's also very important to wear crappy clothes while making your chairs pretty. It's probably more important to wear a mask, but I guess I wasn't thinking about that in the moment. 

Unrelated, a four-legged friend is great for company (but not that great at helping, as it turned out.)

Quit sanding, start petting. 

Next, we prime.

We decided to paint ye olde chairs slate because, hey, we're kind of city-livin' hipsters. We love slate! At least they aren't neon. After sanding and wiping down the chairs, I applied a primer. The beyonce was pulling out his hair watching how s-l-o-w-l-y I applied this stuff. Sorry, dude. I guess that's how I roll.  

dip dip dip, dab dab dab, brush brush brush

Isn't our grass glorious?!

Primed and ready for action.

Here comes the last step...Are you on the edge of your seat? I'll bet you have no idea what's coming next.

Okay, I'll tell you:

Now, we paint.

We applied two coats of a semi-glossy slate paint to both chairs. Yes, it was as simple as that.

Our final product:

Ready for Thanksgiving!

This looks purple, but trust me... it's slate. 

They aren't perfect, but they are pretty darn great. The whole project (which spanned three days) only took about 90 minutes active duty and less than $30 in supplies. Very easy! 

As you can see, we've got that whole mismatched chair thing going on, which I love because it means I can find chairs in my friend's garage and make it work. Jazzing up this chair myself definitely gave me a major boost, just in general. See? I'm not worthless when it comes to DIY, I'm usually just lazy and scared I'll screw it up.

Maybe I'll tackle something a little more complicated next time. I do have a winged back chair I've been meaning to pay someone to reupholster... I'll bet I can find a YouTube tutorial. 

Everyday Eleanor: I Gave My Dad a Kidney.

Liz & Mick, seeing each other for the first time after surgery.

I met Liz about five years ago, but it feels like I've known her forever. Fashion editor by day, yogi by night, waitress on the weekends and comedian 24/7, she always adds something awesome to any situation. And she is so sweet and selfless (without being all martyr-y about it to boot!). Proof: This Sunday marks the three year anniversary of the day her father received her spare kidney. That's why I thought she'd be the perfect candidate for my first-ever Everyday Eleanor salute, a new feature recognizing fearless folks in our midst. Liz, did you ever know that you're my heeeeerroooo....

* * *

Hey Eleanor: Three years ago, you found yourself in a hospital gown in Tampa, prepped to hand over one of your kidneys to your dad, Michael. How'd that happen?

Liz Doyle: First things first, my dad had been sufferer of chronic bladder and kidney infections (we are talking like 25+ years) which eventually caused irreversible damage to his kidneys. He was put on dialysis (three days a week for six months, which is a brutal schedule).  At that time we were told as a family that he would need a kidney transplant and that a live donor (ahem: family members) would not only be quicker, but a healthier process for the recipient with a drastic reduction in the chance of rejection.  We were all urged (if we wanted) to get the beginning stages of testing started as soon as possible.

HE: I'm assuming you had to do a series of testing to figure out if you were a match. What was that like? 

LD: Being based in Minneapolis (and my dad and his docs in Florida), donor organization (lifelink.com) had to send me the the materials for the initial blood tests. The first round involved me walking to the nearest phlebotomist (blood drawer, professional vampire) over my lunchbreak armed with a FedEx box full of vials. From there, I brought the box of blood to the nearest FedEx and it made its way to Florida.  About two weeks later, I got a call saying I was an initial match and that I would need to get to Florida for the next round of testing.

Liz's siblings Kit & Patrick hanging with Mick during his last pre-surgery dialysis session.

HE: Were any of your siblings matches? How did you decided who was going to donate?

LD: Yes, they were. We discussed it a little, but it really came down to the fact that I was the first to get my stuff in, and I was a match. Other than that, it was really important for me to be able to do it. In my mind, I was the one with good health insurance, had no kids, wasn't in school and had a job that was really really supportive of the situation (the president of our company's wife donated to their daughter).

Hanging in the waiting room, pre-surgery.

HE: During the months, weeks, days leading up to it, how did you physically prepare? Emotionally/mentally?

LD: I made a point to get myself in pretty good shape, working out, etc. I had heard that it was easier to bounce back for those in good physical condition. I was running a lot and doing lots of yoga. In retrospect, that is also what prepared me mentally as well and kept my stress level low. 

I also had to go to Florida for the more invasive part of testing involving a day of MRI's, CT scans, comparative scans to see which of my kidneys was the smaller and lesser functioning (interesting fact: they have to legally take that one!) They also have you meet with a psychologist to make sure you are of sound mental health to be making this decision, and that there is no familial pressure or money involved in the donation. 

HE: What things scared you the most? How did you handle it?

LD: I wasn't really all that scared until the day of. I was anxious, nervous that it wouldn't take, but it wasn't until the morning of surgery, sitting all alone in a weird dark hallway in the hospital, that it sunk in and I was a mess. I mean, I was totally healthy and they were going to make me sick and in pain! Mainly, I just wanted my mom there, to rub my arm and tell me that it was all going to be fine. That was until my anesthesiologist came along and gave me the sweetest antianxiety cocktail I've ever had. All fears flew out the window.

HE: I've heard recovery is often harder for the organ donor versus the recipient. What were those initial days like? How long did your recovery take? 

LD: Thats how it used to be. They would basically saw the donor in half to get the kidney out. These days most are done laparoscopically, meaning a few small incisions on the belly where they put their tools and a camera. They do all the work like that before moving the kidney down to right below the my underwear line, where they made a six inch horizontal incision to take the kidney out. That part was only open for a few minutes, dramatically improving the healing time.

First solid meal... clearly Michelin-star caliber stuff.

The first day was a blur, I was pretty much best friends with my morphine pump and spent the days watching movies on my computer. My sweet family had a rotating schedule of who was with both me and my dad throughout the day.  The hospital staff doesn't waste much time, they got me up and sitting in a chair and walking within the first 24 hours. I was at the hospital for four days, my dad for six. 

We'll call this photo "high on life."

The first few days at home were a little rough. The nitrous oxide (which they use to inflate the belly during surgery) began to manifest itself in little extremely painful gas bubbles in my neck. This is apparently typical, and was by far the worst part because you couldn't do anything about it.  

After that, it was pool time for the next few weeks. It almost felt like a vacation, almost.

HE: Let's talk about scars, baby.

LD: Basically, i have four one-inch stab wounds on my stomach that are getting lighter and lighter. And one six-inch scar that hardly anyone has ever seen.

HE: They say (whoever "they" is) your body can easily function on one kidney. True? Do you feel any different?

LD: Initially, I had an empty spot. Really, a place that would feel hollow when I laughed. That was natural they said. Eventually, my kidney grew to do the work of two and my liver grew too to fill the space!

Liz's sister, Marce, hanging with Mick during his last pre-opp kidney flush. 

HE: How has your relationship changed with your dad?

LD: We are super close. He calls frequently to thank me, and give me his health updates. 

Liz, bro Patrick, her mom & dad on their first post-surgery family outing. 

HE: Do you find yourself being more conscious of his health/lifestyle choices? 

LD: Yes, and it drives him a little nuts. But, hey....I'm invested. 

HE: Best thing about giving your dad a kidney? Hardest?

LD: Best: He's alive. Hardest: Not knowing if it would work. He's a complicated case. In fact, my kidney is in him, upside down and backwards to work with his bionic setup. 

HE: Advice to someone who might be in the same situation you were three years ago? 

LD: Do it! It is the best gift you can ever give. 

* * *

When she's not being a live organ donor, Liz is kicking ass & taking names as the fashion editor at Delta Sky Magazine, Minneapolis | St. Paul Magazine and Msp Weddings. You should probably follow her on Twitter & Instagram at @TheRealLizDoyle. 

I want to hear your Everyday Eleanor story. Email me at heyeleanorproject@gmail.com.