#2 & 3. Learn How to Use a Chainsaw, then Learn How to Use iMovie

I look like I've been doing this my whole life. Not true.  

One time at my cabin, my third cousin once removed sliced open his leg with a chainsaw. He was maybe 18 at the time, which of course at the time made him a chainsaw expert in his mind... but not so much in practice. Plus, I am 99 percent positive he was a little buzzed (pardon the pun), something I think 9 out of 10 lumberjacks strongly disapprove of. The story does have a happy ending: He duct taped the gash, hitched a ride to nearby-ish Crosby, MN, got stitched up and proceeded to party the night away.

As if I even needed to witness an experience like this to fear chainsaws. But alas, I did, which made using one myself even more daunting. When my boyf's aunt Barb offered to be my chainsaw guru, I couldn't pass up the opportunity. How often do you find someone to lend you their (baby) chainsaw, Kevlar chaps, work boot and face mask? Not often, unless you live in a horror movie.

It was indeed scary, but kind of anti-climactic.  I should probably mention that you should not do this unless you have your own Barb helping out. And for the love, save the Jagermeister for later.

This is the first video I've ever made, so please be kind. Editing this effer was almost as challenging as sawing a log in half, which is why I'm counting it as item #3. I realize we should have held my camera the other direction... oh well, next time! Thanks to Andy Mogren for creating that kick ass intro, and thanks to Barb for helping me not die.